Marriage Will Survive

Relationships, I admit, have been a challenge for me, I’ve exceeded every limit, tested every water, pushed every button, explored every avenue, been selfish in every way, been as selfless as I could be, given all I got, and withdrew more than ever, took advantage in every form, and have gotten walked on in every way, I've received hurt as well as given hurt. I have been the best I thought I could be as well as the worst in order to experience and test love to its fullest capacity... I’ve been to hell and back, as well as heaven and beyond. All, to seek out one of my ultimate goals and dreams...

an indestructible and admired marriage of all time. 

While I not always intentionally fell into relationships for a certain reason, I always made it a habit to learn from each one and gather experience that would build ground to my ideal marriage and a counterpart that was willing to give and receive the same as I in all aspects. 

While not knowing when that time will come, I do know, when it does come, yes, this is it, and yes, I am ready. 

I needed to seek out and test all forms of my relationships in order to explore a multiple aptitude of feelings and scenarios to find my idea of marriage and the efforts in which it takes to make it the strongest it can ever be. My only challenge now, is to find someone who understands these concepts and is willing to give anything and everything they have to meet me in the middle. 

I’ve been around plenty of people who are not married, who are married, and who have been married. And more than the majority of those who have been married or who are married, have told me to never get married, embrace and enjoy being single. Or if in a relationship, don’t get married because it will ruin it...

Now I’m not saying they all say that, because I’ve been able to witness marriages that have withstood the test of time. I’ve seen souls never be the same after losing their husband or wife, their best friend and soul mate. But, it seems now days, that majority, if given the chance, would not get married again, or would not have gotten married in the first place. 

I’m not sure why this is, as I have not been in their place, or haver not been married yet. But, I fear, that through the, you don’t need anything or anyone attitude, we are in a sense, projecting this selfish persona within ourselves that is diminishing our faith in others to help build us up, or work as a team. 

This, I don’t need a man or woman attitude, don’t be whipped, I can do things myself, independent, I am man or woman, here me roar, I got this with or without you mentality, may be creating a separation within the genders or people in general, that is destroying our capabilities of allowing us to take a chance in the essence and beauty of marriage. 

Now, yes, I believe anyone can be or do anything they want, and with that, includes making a marriage work through anything, but you have to have desire to fulfill the oath you made to your partner, which I have witnessed is hard to find, and in most cases is the reason for divorce. Now, I know, there are those of you out there, who have given everything, and have experienced divorce. I am in no way, judging your marriage or making assumptions as to what it should have been. This is merely my ideas from my experiences of what I expect in my one and only marriage.

Allowing yourself to fall head over heels in love, giving yourself completely to one another, adoring, cherishing, trusting and building with another, truly making them your best friend, and learning to work together to create an indestructible bond of morals, values, and roots is what I am looking for. 

My outlook and expectations of a marriage are of those that do withstand the journey of time and life. With all do respect to those who have been married, or who are married, these are simply my goals and aspirations for a love and marriage I’m dedicated to finding, pursuing, and fulfilling. 

Regardless of those that do tell me I’m living in a fantasy land, or seeking something that is unattainable, I do believe, I have faith, and I will not settle. 

I actually had someone ask me why marriage is so important to me? Why am I waiting? Why am I so compelled to get married after all the failed or unhappy marriages I’ve seen? What do I think marriage is? What do I want from a marriage? What am I looking for in the person I want to marry?

It’s simply this, I believe in God and I believe in Love. 

I believe that God never hands any human anything that can’t handle. I believe that God designed marriage for humans to unite their souls in faith of a bigger plan; a plan that cannot be predicted, a plan that is relied upon by faith in one another; a plan that requires a proclamation and duty of steadfast love, risk, fear, and determination. It requires a certain type of incomparable relationship between two people that tests all your faith, motivation, love, loyalty, compassion, and understanding. 

Marriage requires the ultimate selfless commitment to put someone before yourself and before your children, in order to see them and treat them as your partner, your other half, and as a whole in order to get through this life here on earth. 

While marriage may not be for everyone, and while some are perfectly capable of producing a lifelong commitment without the bindings of a legal marriage, I personally hold strongly and believe in the values, strengths, and commitment a marriage and devout love displays. And while I have been through many relationships myself, I have valued each one of them as a learning experience and trial of what works and what doesn’t work for me, of what I thought I was looking for, versus what I am actually desiring. A test of my own faith and judgement to learn what I need to do in order to become the best possible wife I can be. 

I know I am far from perfect, and I knew that I was not going to jump into any marriage that I thought I would fall short in or that I thought I wasn’t ready to give my all to, or that I thought wouldn't fulfill my expectations. Just as everything needs practice, I have embraced the opportunity to learn from myself and others in my relationships to acquire the necessary components in order to face my fears in pursuing a relationship and marriage I truly desire, deserve, and know I can produce. 

I believe that humans encompass the motivation of doing whatever they set their minds to. Whether they chose to relinquish that motivation selflessly in order to achieve a belief in the unknown of their marriage pledge through every test is the ultimate display of a successful or failed marriage.

Marriage is the creation of an indestructible life committing divine partnership. Its a demonstration that two individuals have accepted the responsibility to inspect and assimilate the human being in which they are going to transform their life with and for. It’s two individualities molding a deep rooted solidification within society in order to develop a fortified and fruitful love. It’s a vow to grow together, and not apart from one another. It’s a mutual forever understanding that defies the temptations of worldly hypocrisy. 

Marriage is the reverential and willful sacred binding of two hearts, souls, and minds. It’s an honorable growth within one another through mutual care, respect, and acknowledgement of the responsibility of the spiritual and physical union of loyalty, honesty, trust, and hard work two persons will contribute in order to solidify and implement in order to construct a single growing energy of spiritual and physical love and life. Its the privilege of responsibility for your own, your spouses, and your families well being.

As stated within the traditional vows of the binding of two persons into this honorable blessed privilege, two people vow to: 

Love with unconditional care, comfort with unconditional support, honor with unconditional respect, and keep one another through sickness and health through unconditional embrace and appreciation, for richer or poorer with unconditional humility, help, and hard work, for better or worse through unconditional laughter, encouragement and assurance, through sadness and joy with unconditional heartache and adventure, and vow to cherish through unconditional adoration, and continually bestow their hearts deepest devotion with unconditional selflessness, forsaking all others through unconditional promise, in an unbroken circle of unconditional commitment as long as the two persons both shall live. 

You are bonded to not only embrace your hopes and realize your dreams together, but are privileged to face your disappointments and accept your failures together. 

This commitment is a 50/50 promise to one another to aspire to all these ideals through mutual acceptance, respect, openness and sensitivity to one another.

Besides the legal affirmations of a contract that seal this commitment into finality, it is the willful desire of understanding by two individuals that consecrates this bond and makes it an honor to bestow and live life together as an example to society. It shows the ability and power of two people willing to allow themselves to work and believe in one another in order to help not only themselves, but the world around them to demonstrate that two are more flourishing and capable as one force than two separate forces. 

I believe marriage was intended for two people to become one, but it is up to each one of these individuals to realize and fathom the stakes at which they are accepting and believing in to create a future that is indestructible by no other than themselves.

To vow to another for the rest of your life where divorce is not an option is pure devotion and undeniably the intimate meaning and symbol of the fruition and fulfillment of marriage. 

Marriage is unfailing, appreciated, devout love through all life’s obstacles and blessings. It’s the true test of faith in the unknown. It’s the acceptance of difference, conflict, struggle, humanity, individuality, vulnerability, and humbleness. It’s the truest dedication to living unselfish. 

To walk into a commitment with such desires and aspirations and trust that the other person has the same desires and aspirations, and that you both work together to stay on the same page to fulfill these desires and aspirations for each other is a one in a million chance you are taking. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it, you may feel like your failing, but through the bond of marriage and each other, you will not fail, you will get through it, if it's truly what you want, if you truly stand by your vows unselfishly, your marriage will survive. Nothing good comes easy.

And though I believe any person can achieve these commitments without the legal affirmations, it’s also the legal affirmations that join two together in every aspect. You are taking a chance in love, in faith, and in another human being for the sake of every aspect of your future together, not as separates. 

This is marriage to me. This is not just a friendship, this is not just any commitment, this is not just a partnership, this is not anything temporary. This is marriage. The ultimate test, the ultimate solidification of a seed, that needs constant love, attention, and food to produce a fruitful legacy in any and every aspect of the future of my life. 

Marriage is important to me because, if I cannot display an affection, faith, commitment, love, and adoration, have trust, faith, and desire in, and give my all to a single physical human being standing beside me in order to solidify a rock of values and morals for my future to survive the test of time here on earth, then how can I trust and believe in a God and Heaven which I cannot physically see and touch and believe in? To have faith in the physical world seems so easy compared to that of the non physical when you think of it. When simply put, to have faith in something that is physically tangible, is so easy compared to handing over your life to an idea that is intangible and unknown. I believe in my beautiful God and the Heaven he promises, just as I will believe in my beautiful husband and the devotion he promises.

Marriage is a gift, don’t be selfish, take pride in your spouse, your best friend, your soul mate, and make it work.

Why have I waited so long and why do I still want to get married after all the failed marriages I’ve witnessed? No one succeeds without failure. Nothing good comes easy. If you want to be the best at something you need to practice every day. In order to find a solution, you need to use all your resources and exhaust all avenues. I have watched, I have experienced, I have practiced, and I have gathered my resources. I've waited, because I needed to be ready to give and receive the love that I expect my spouse to give and receive. And I want to get married because I want that love and journey I've been looking for and preparing for. 

What do I think marriage is? 

It’s a miraculous privilege and gift that we are given the opportunity to experience in order to be the best people we possibly can be for the people we love most.

What do I want from a marriage? 

A counterpart that understands and has the same expectations, understanding, devotion, and motivations in life in order to produce a a legacy together for our future that will withstand any test through all time. 

What am I looking for in the person I want to marry? 

Everything you’ve got!

Marriage is simple... being a person who is ready for what marriage has to offer is the challenging part. Are you truly ready? Anyone can say they commit, but can you actually be a participating, patient, welcoming, understanding, and selfless counterpart for the rest of your life? Completely selfless... Really think about it... don’t become a statistic, become an admired legacy. 

If you haven't been married, know, when you're ready, your marriage will survive.
If you are married, be confident, your marriage will survive.

If you were married, just know, with faith, if your willing to take that chance, your new marriage will survive.

I hope that through the changing ideals and expectations of the decades, that the true essence of marriage will survive.

I always have and always will know that when that time comes, that no matter what, my marriage will survive... anything and everything.